Over the past several years, I have said this over and over again. Then this past month, I realized that I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. There were things that I wanted in my life (specifically in my professional life) that I felt ashamed for wanting and I let myself go into a place of lack and low self-esteem about it. I thought that what I wanted wasn’t good enough and in turn, no one would want to help me get to where I wanted to go.
Then, I created my Facebook group (honestly – it’s for my motivation to live what I talk about and be an example of the fundamental principles of the CREATE YOUR LIFE brand as much as it is to show people examples of making your dreams into realities) and I went through my Udemy course again in order to remind myself. The one thing that I was allowing to make myself small was the idea of really figuring out what you want.
I want the same dream I had when I was a kid. I want to be on television and write books and have share experiences. Those are, at the core, what I want. AND, I want them to be at a big level. I want is to be Emmy-winning television (talk show and multi-camera sitcom to be specific) and NY Times best-selling books and experiences of overcoming and creating the lives we want.
Over the past many years, those dreams started to feel superficial to me because of the people I was surrounding myself with. People who had really good intentions, people who want to change the world and create deep and meaningful art, people who have incredible souls. People I let myself (through NO fault of theirs) become intimidated by.
And so, my dreams of making people laugh and feel good and sharing my experiences through story instead of self-help became “not big enough” in my mind.
Then, the other day, after the Vegas shootings, I saw a post by Ellen and she talked about how she gets to bring a little joy into the world when people are feeling their lowest. She showed a montage of clips of people doing great and joyous things and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and I cried even more, but I realized that I was crying a different kind of tear, they weren’t tears of despair, they were tears of hope for the first time in more months than I can count.
And, I realized that my denying my true dreams wasn’t helping anyone. That all the work I had been doing for the past many years wasn’t going to do the things I want to do in the world, leave the impact I want to leave.
Unless we are doing the things our heart longs for us to do, we will not have the life we want to live.
What does your heart long for you to do?