Two months ago, Craig and I were in Florida and I was feeling like I must be missing something because I just wasn’t feeling it. I know so many people who just love Florida so we kept going from place to place to place hoping we would find one we loved as much as St. Augustine (which we had been to in the beginning of our month and a half long Florida adventure) but, it just wasn’t happening.
As with most of the trip when we first started out, I felt like I was “doing it wrong.” I was suffering from what I like to call “expectation and opinion overload” and it was so bad that I couldn’t hear my own thoughts and when I did, I would deny them because “I should be happy. I mean, we’re on this epic, once-in-a-lifetime adventure. So, why am I so miserable?”
I don’t know if any of you have ever felt that way, but it is the worst feeling because you know you should be happy, but you just aren’t.
Then one day, I had had enough. I admitted to Craig and myself that I was just not feeling Florida and I couldn’t stay any longer. One of the other reasons we were there for so long, was the weather. Seeing as we picked one of the coldest years to live in a tin can, Florida was the only place warm enough to camp. So, I went on this housesitting website that I had signed us up for back in LA and armed with the knowledge that we really wanted to visit Austin, TX, I typed in housesits in Texas and in pure manifesting magic, this little place at the end of a private road on a private lake popped up.
It felt perfect so I applied thinking it would be a great place to ride out the winter. Little did I know that it would change everything.
I knew it would be awesome because it would mean that we would, not only be able to stay warm, we would have all the modern convinces, including an oven (I know. You miss certain things being on the road) and reliable wifi and, of course, the ability to stream TV…heaven. So, when the homeowner accepted our application I was through the moon excited.
When we arrived, we pulled up to a really unassuming house with a yard that was brown and had been poured on for a month by the rain. I was kind of excited for the rain because we wouldn’t be in our trailer and when I walked through the doors, I gasped. I mean, this place could not have been more cool and eclectic and just fun. It was a total open concept type cabin with really cool old wood floors, beams and these three tree trunks that had been turned into pillars holding up the roof and separating the living room and dining room space. The kitchen was a large one with tons of counter space and all of the pots, pans, dishes and utensils were vintage and antique. I could tell that the homeowner didn’t like anything in her space that didn’t have a story, which is something I am all about. It was perfect. And, the desk area…oh my. It overlooked this beautiful and peaceful lake.
I had been toying with the idea of revisiting Indie Movie Mastery (which is a company I started two years ago that became a total nightmare to me) with the idea of “how would I do it if I could create the company any way that I wanted?” and so, I set up the desk and got to work pondering. My days were filled with asking myself that question, pondering, dreaming, plotting, cooking, cleaning, kayaking, reading and just…healing…if I’m being honest.
It wasn’t until we were completely isolated in serene silence that I realized just how much healing I needed to do. My spirit was broken for many reasons and this magical place allowed me to tap into that truth and without pressure or opinions, I was able to take the time to finally hear my inner voice. It’s a difficult thing to describe.
Then, one day, close to the end of our month, I thought “man, I wish we could stay longer.” No lie, about ten minutes later I got a text from the homeowner asking if we’d like to stay another month. I did a happy dance around the beautiful home and texted back a resounding YES! And so, our stay was extended and more healing began and I figured out how to make Indie Movie Mastery my dream and will be launching the course and all the things I want to do soon.
Today is our last morning at this little peace (spelling error intended) of heaven and I’m sitting on the porch, looking at the lake, surrounded by the two kitties we were brought here to watch thinking about this place and my healing experience here and the past few days when the homeowner came home and invited Craig and I into her world. We went to a party sending her best friend off to her home in Ghana, we experienced wonderful meals, great company, midnight conversations (my bedtime is 10PM, thank you very much), lively scrabble tournaments and last night, homemade paella while we fit eleven of the most interesting people I’ve met in a long time around a table designed for four because “that’s what you do when family is around.” I can say with the utmost confidence that Craig and I have made a friend for life.
And, in my reflection, I can say that none of this would have happened if Craig (yes, the everglades did Craig in) and I weren’t so darn miserable in Florida. It forced us to go outside our comfort zone and take a chance on going to a little house in the middle of nowhere because “anything is better” and introduced us to one of the most magical places I’ve ever experienced. I guess that’s exactly what Life in a Teardrop is all about. I was definitely living in a sad, frustrated, overwhelming teardrop for the first half of this trip and now that I’ve had the opportunity to rest and recharge, I get to redo.
The second half of this trip is going to be so different because I feel so different. And, I’m excited about what’s to come in a way I haven’t been since moving to Los Angeles eighteen years ago. I don’t know how I’m going to overcome the inevitable challenges that come along with creating a life you truly love, but for the first time in yeeeaaaarrrrssss…I trust that I can figure it out.
Two years ago this trip was just a dream. Last year, I almost gave up on it. Want to know how I turned it all around and made this dream into a reality? Click Here
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