One of the biggest and saddest (for me) things that I witnessed on this trip is just how many people have given up on their dreams. It’s like an epidemic. Truly. I mean, there were a few people joyfully doing what they love but most of the time if I asked how they were doing I got responses like “same old same old” or “same shit different day.” It really started to weigh on me.
So, when I made it back to LA where we literally make dreams happen (on the screen and in our daily lives), I breathed a sigh of relief and made a promise to myself that I would never be one of those people who gave up on their dreams.
Well, with that promise, I had to have a really big “come to Jesus” conversation with myself because the reality is that I kinda had given up on my dream.
When I was a little girl, I remember watching TV one morning and in my little feet-y pajamas walking into the kitchen telling my mom that “I was going to move to California and become an actor.” She chuckled, but that dream stuck with me from that moment on. And, I did. I moved to Los Angeles in 2000 and I was blessed, lucky, fortunate (whatever word you want to use) enough to find a manager, book a gig, get my SAG card (a fete I would later learn takes many actors years to achieve) and get to be on three major TV shows all within less than three years time. Then the crash happened and I physically wasn’t able to act anymore. It was devastating to me because acting had been my dream since I was like three or four years old.
But, after I healed from the crash, I got into producing and I convinced myself that I was fine not being an actor. Until the trip last year. Now, I refuse to convince myself of anything other than the fact that I can make my dreams come true. So, yesterday, I did it. I went back to acting full-time. I took my first acting class in fifteen years and it was awesome. I enrolled in Improve 1 at Second City Hollywood.
I can’t tell you the joy I felt being in that room with all the crazy, fun creative energy of the other actors. We played this one game – a sort of version of musical chairs – where one person gets up in the middle of the circle and has to say a truth about themselves and anyone else who has that same truth gets up and we all try to get a seat and the one left standing has to say another truth and so on and so on. Well, when I got up there, my truth was that I was following my dream and you know what – EVERY SINGLE PERSON in that room got up out of their seats because it was their truth too. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
On Monday I wrote about fear being boring and I talked about how I realized that I hadn’t missed an opportunity, it was just postponed. Well, it took me fifteen years to realize my dream of acting isn’t going anywhere and even though I was most likely the oldest person in that room yesterday, I believe I can make this happen for myself and I’ve got a joy about me that hasn’t been there in many many years.
So, if you have a dream inside of you and you’re suppressing it, I’d like to invite you to stop doing that. It’s never too late to go after the things that you want and if you’re not hurting anyone, why shouldn’t you? It’s really fun 🙂
So, from this actor (hehehe) to you I say “Welcome to Hollywood. What’s your dream?” (that’s a quote from Pretty Woman, in case you didn’t know) 😉